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He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message. As soon as I finish this recording I'm going to bed indefinitely. I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist. Please begin your message with your Master Card or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. Please leave your credit card number at the tone... Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone. 01/31/05 - budda from too stoned, AZ: hey, like leave a message, or something, or don't , i don't care. No one is avaliable to take your call, so leave a message, don't make it long, and we'll call you back when you buy a thong! This is an asnwering machine message so leave your message after the tone!!! (pause) i'm not here right now so leave a message and i'll call you back! ) 12/07/04 - miki from : hi, uh, well, um, (stammers) I-i'm ______, and ,er, this is the answering m-machine your t-talking t-to so um, ya? 11/17/04 - the zanie gurl from Alaska: Hello, I am not able to come to the phone right now...well, actually, I'm at the phone....recording this message.you're hearing it later..I can't be there..I am here now..gosh, this is so confusing...
After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer. Leave a message at the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished brushing our teeth. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. We are at Vespers and therefore answering other calls, but if you will leave your name, number, and a brief message, we will consider breaking our vow of silence to return your call. To facilitate our investigation, we would appreciate you leaving your name, number, a brief message, and any affiliations you may have made now, or in the past, with communist or terrorist organizations. (In the background can be heard springs creaking and various moans; husky, soft female voice is best:) Hi... [Voice 2] These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. so, lea a messeg and we deliver straigt to you pants.
Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Southwestern Front Headquarters is pleased to learn that your unit has re-established communications. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you I'm sorry, I've been trying to break the record for "the most calls missed" if its a emergency or your dieing or something, please hold on till the record is broken. If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number... B, address, social security number, age, height, weight, how many children you have, what sex you are, your mother's maiden name, and the date and time when you called me. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. (Italian Mafia-style voice:) I can't come to the phone right now. Its two-semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. 01/20/05 - wynand from south africa: mmmm just testing 01/19/05 - BRITT N CASS from THE INTERNET: GOD MAD MUD GOD MADE DIRT GOD MADE BOYS SO I KIN FLIRT!!!
If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible. You know what I hate about answering machine messages? I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Due to the breakdown in the 452nd truce, the inhabitants of village 286-3589 are cowering in their bomb shelters. And speaking of things that are not free, we now have this word from our sponsor... If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone.
If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. Drawling granny voice: Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you... Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen. Thank you for phoning the Save the Sasquatch Hotline. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange... I'll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me... (Demented, screechy voice; occasional background screams:) Hello. (Raspy gasp.) We can't come to the phone right now because we're making a couple of adjustments. I was changing my name to protect my innocence when I got a call about a 411. However, if you leave your name, number, and a message, any survivors will get back to you when the 453rd truce begins. (To scare off annoying liberals:) Hello, and thank you for calling the Bush in 50 Campaign. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number.
Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. like this -- beeeeep, just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep, c'mon... The entire staff is currently busy discussing forthcoming operations with other units, but if you leave your unit name and how we may reach you, Chief of Staff Sterrett will contact you as soon as possible to discuss your concerns. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked. I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you are hearing this tape, then I'm not here now. If you are still listening, then whatever you have to say must be very important. I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. I'm unable to take your call in person because I'm having an out-of-the-body experience. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system. Santa can't come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. Er, no diplomats are able to answer phone, so at sound of capitalist tone, leave name, telephone number, and short description of secrets you wish to sell. Father Durway's not here right now, but if you'll leave your name, number, and confession at the tone, he'll get back to you with absolution as soon as possible. Me and Guido are trying to stuff a body in the trunk. [Voice 3] To boldly inform you to wait for the tone. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. SO IF UR A GUY THEN how bout you c me tonigh AROUNDE FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 01/18/05 - tom from australia: shutup 01/18/05 - SAM! 01/16/05 - Hrejtpoje from Outer Space: Hey wanna find out if we really like talking to you then leave a message and you'll find out if we call you back. Baby That's soo GREAT..please don't stop.is this thing on well Hey we are kind of busy right now doing taxes so leave a message and when we are done washing dishes we'll call you back.
Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you. Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. So if you don't leave a message after the tone, you might have to deal with me in person. In fact, it can't even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave a message. In fact I'm standing right behind you and I can hear everything you say. Sound of smashing box of kleenex.) But this method doesn't work with a telephone call... After the tone, please leave your Christmas list, and maybe we'll get back to you! And remember, confession doesn't count unless you confess all of your sins in vivid, graphic detail! If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. 01/31/05 - Poopy Mc Pooperson from Uranus: wow im an idiot 01/30/05 - Jesse Madrid from Woodland: This Website was not helpful! 1LUV YA YALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! from gold coast, australia: twinkle twinkle little star, i bet your wondering where we are, so put your mouth up to the phone and leave a message for when we get home, and if you can make your message rhyme, we can do it in half the time 01/18/05 - brittany from a house: hey im obvisly not here right now or maybe im just screening you call... 01/16/05 - Mandi from UR Floor: Sorry we're not here to lend an ear, so leave a word and you'll be heard. 01/16/05 - Mandi from UR Room: Roses are red, violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are you The roses have wilted, the violets are dead, The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head, The roses stink, sorta like sheep But leave your name, number, and message after the beep The roses are molding, the violets are rotten And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten.
I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower? Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. If you're a TV company advertising TVs, she already has a TV with every channel known to man, and several known to monkeys. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. I'll get back to you if I need anything else." 12/30/04 - Bel from Laredo, Texas: Hello this is my answering machine. I know you're supposed to leave a message, but I prefer you don't.
(The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbor's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants.") Hello, you have reached the _______ family and we can not come to the phone right now. If you called for any other reasons, please hang up the phone, start screaming, and run to the nearest shoe store. (This probably won't help you, but we'll always have something to laugh about when we're bored.) Hi, you have reached _(phone number)__ you have a chance to win one million dollars if you can answer the following 1. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. I know you're supposed to leave a message, but I really prefer you don't.
We used to call it an answering machine, but this is a high-tech world and we're in a high-tech business, so we don't call it that any more. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. I have taken over the functions of this inferior being. If you would like to leave input for his file, do so at the tone. In fact, it can't even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave a message. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. Please leave a message in English at the tone, and remember, if someone tries to speak French to you, just say, "non". This is Sa-to, If you leave message, I call you soon. (Gregorian chants in background; serene voice:) Hello, Brother or Sister. I'm in the Neighborhood of Make Believe right now, so I can't come to the phone. (In Joe Friday voice:) This is Constable Augie of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service. I am currently meditating, but if you leave your name and which lifeline you are currently inhabiting at the sound of the Om, I will send good karma waves and contact you when the stars align properly. You know, it can be really lonely when you're a fashion model. (Interrupting:) Oh come on Linda, give me the damn phone... Leave a name and number and IF we decide to resurrect him, he'll call you back.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating