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This quote really resonated with the women, especially the single ones, at a recent women’s only yoga retreat. The last fellow I met online told me that so many of the women who’d contacted him had profile photos wearing camping attire and hoisting up large fish they’d caught, each bass or grouper proclaiming these ladies were low maintenance, high energy, and one of the guys. That guy with the bad rug who looks to be 20 years older than I (and put up an unfortunate swimsuit shot) thinks I’d be interested? But even when I’d found a promising flounder, the guy usually turned out to suck.

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Why aren’t I hooking someone who reflects back my own potential?

Am I sporting an invisible sign that says I lust after the irremediably damaged?

And when it all works out, cheers to them on their happily ever after and for never having to endure a terrible Tinder date.

But even when your romantic partner stays the same, change happens in and around you all the time.

Weber calls this model a "shared identity" -- meaning each partner is their own person, but they're open and willing to share and compromise for the sake of the union.

There's a sense of maturity that goes along with this commitment.

An old friend recently attracted the perfect guy on Plenty of Fish.

He was smart, uber successful, thoughtful, and really into her. And as she gushed, and quipped “I don’t stay on the market for long,” what I heard her saying is “Look who I can attract.

Oh yeah, plus we have nothing in common, or his politics are problematic, or he still lives at home or he wants to date a woman who can gut her own salmon. And I think there are other solutions to loneliness beyond dating.

So, the grown up dating process is like dumpster diving but you won’t even find a free coffee table. So, when we are looking at the metaphorical trash heap that is adult dating, are we not saying, what is wrong with me that I am attracting refuse?

Here, relationship expert and author Ana Weber fleshes out how each of these five college relationships influences the kind of adult partner you'll become.

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